Saturday 19 May 2007

My Sexuality

Are you heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual? Are you still in the confusion stage where you don't know which category you belong to?

As for me, I'm 1% heterosexual, 69% plantaesexual, and 30% selfsexual.

As you know, a person who is heterosexual is someone who is attracted only to the opposite sex. Of course, I'm mostly attracted to the Coconut Tree (That's the part where I'm plantaesexual), but as a normal homo Sapien, my heart, too, skips a beat when a cute guy brushes past me. Or talks to me. Or smiles at me. Or asks for my phone number. Or flirts with me.

You get the idea.

But of course, I'm not saying that I'm a bitch/slut who loves flirting/sleeping around with guys. I do not change my soul mate faster than I change my underwear. (I say underwear because I change my underwear more frequently than I change my shirt/pants/shorts/dress.) Anyway, just because cute/cool/handsome guys have the ability to magically make butterflies materialize in my tummy, that does not mean I will fall for them (is that a reader's heart breaking I hear?). In my Social Ring, I divide the guys into 4 groups. Majority will go under the first group labelled 'Just Friends' (did I just hear a reader's heart break again?), and a significant few will go under the group labelled 'Handsome/Cute/Flirtable/Cool But Not My Type'. Some others will go under the third group, 'The Avoidables'. Only ONE lucky (or unlucky?) guy will get into the final group labelled 'My Soul Mate'.

Oh, now I can hear clearly the breaking of hearts (plural). My apologies.

Why do i call myself plantaesexual? If you know me well enough, I think you can guess why. Generally, I hate Nature, what with those ugly bugs, smelly animals, dirty plant sap, itchy fungi poison, slimy river algae, blood-sucking leeches, pinching and stinging sea creatures, and who-knows-what-else. However, I find it different with coconut trees. Especially with The Coconut Tree. Coconut trees are tall and their broad leaves can help protect you from the scorching sun (that's another reason to hate Nature) and its' fruit gives sweet and refreshing water. If only coconut trees had feelings.....

I'm proud to call myself a Selfsexual, a.k.a syok sendiri.
For those of you who don't know what syok sendiri means, good. I won't explain. And I see some of you snickering right now. Hmph. Everyone of us has at least a little bit of selfsexuality in ourselves, no matter what sort of sexuality we are labelled as. So there! *pouts*

Btw, did you know that the layman's term for selfsexual is vain?

But of course, in reality, there is no such word as plantaesexual and selfsexual, so I guess my sexuality is only 1% occupied. The other 99% is filled with imaginary sexual fantasies....Alright, I'm kidding! Don't look at me that way.

I'm a good girl, and my birthday is coming soon.

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